When you are not being treated well; Walk away
When your respect is being tampered on; Walk away
It may hurt for a while,
But, short term pain is better than life time misery
Knowing when to walk away is: Wisdom
Being able to do it is: Courage
And doing it with dignity: is a BLISS
The road maybe unknown or rocky ahead
But, you can count on your steady footsteps
You may miss the security of familiarity
But, when walking away is a Bliss
Having faith in yourself is the first step when walking away!
Mind your wings
For a very long time I was searching for Jon Kabat Zinn’s Wherever you go, There you are; Finally, got it recently and LOVE the book. Its simple, comprehensible and nourishing. It’s for everyone who does not understand mindfulness and meditation. And if you know about them, then read it just to feel a gust of fresh air.
Some books or some sentences change the way you look at life or yourself. This book makes my life colourful and adds a pint of joy. Some of my favourite quotes from the book:
- “No one can listen to your body for you… To grow and heal, you have to take responsibility for listening to it yourself.”
- “Guess what? When it comes right down to it, wherever you go, there you are. Whatever you wind up doing, that’s what you’ve wound up doing. Whatever you are thinking right now, that’s what’s on your mind. Whatever has happened to you, it has already happened. The important question is, how are you going to handle it? In other words, “Now what?”
- “To let go means to give up coercing, resisting, or struggling, in exchange for something more powerful and wholesome which comes out of allowing things to be as they are without getting caught up in your attraction to or rejection of them, in the intrinsic stickiness of wanting, of liking and disliking. It’s akin to letting your palm open to unhand something you have been holding on to.”
- “One practical way to do this is to look at other people and ask yourself if you are really seeing them or just your thoughts about them.
- “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.”
I hope you enjoy reading them, as much as I did.
Mind your wings
There is so much to tell you, I don’t know where to begin. Well, let me first tell you that a few of you were illusionary, some exaggerated and some under estimated. I was naive, immature and too scared to make the right choices. Thus, I let you control my decisions, relationships and choices. It made me meek and added a lot of chaos into my life.
I know, “The best way to let go of your fears is to face them, head on!!” I played hide and seek, I ran away from you. Every time I peeked, you looked bigger and scarier. And in hindsight I realize, if I had faced you when you were little, life would have been easier. But, I did not have enough courage. You became fierce and at a certain point you were omnipotent…
I was left with no choice but to face the deepest-darkest monsters in my head. You almost broke me.. But, it was only then I built a new life, a new me. You were the most challenging teacher.
Today, I want to thank you for making me courageous and wise. There are times, I am still scared. But, as soon as I sense you, I start preparing our meeting at the earliest! No more monsters in my head or my room.
I finally watched Ae Dil Hain Mushkil (Hindi movie) and I absolutely loved it. 🙂 I love a different genre of movies like Shaandar, Tamaasha, Baar Baar Dekho and now ADHM.
Well, all I know is I believe there are different shades of love. One is that ecstatic first love which makes your senses come alive, then there’s the kind which you experience just once in your lifetime and carry it forever in your heart. Sometimes, love is not forever, as some people come to heal you or teach you lessons through love. Love can get complicated too, sometimes you just feel connected to some people, it’s more than friendship but absolutely platonic. Then, there’s love where you feel the need to protect and cocoon the other person. And finally the heartbreak the toughest of all….
Love has so many shades, so many feelings, so many characteristics, but not all are forever and not all end up in romance. Love is a beautiful emotion. It helps you connect to yourself, to others and to a very special few where love makes an ordinary day look beautiful.
You need to love yourself. But the love that blossoms into a connection, a relationship, a bond is special. It needs to be nurtured and celebrated.
ADHM celebrates Love in the form of friendship, romance, healing, teaching and moving on. It does touch upon the differents shades of Love. The movies is about the exuberance which love brings into life.
Mind your wings
You know, I recently realized we all have a hole in our heart.Big Statement. But, we all feel a certain amount of emptiness and somethings or someone gives us scars that are difficult to leave. I always thought some external event, person or achievement of the next goal would fill the hole in my heart… Guess what, I trotted from one place to another, looked for new hobbies, tried to find solace from other people. But, at night while getting ready to sleep, that hole was still there and somehow it was starting to hurt again.
And then, one day while speaking to an acquaintance (who was opening about her life and challenges), it dawned on me we all have been hurt, shattered, disappointed in life. Well some more than the others. You know what’s astonishing we ALL look for the solution to come from an external source. At times a certain person or thing might lead us to the illusion that the hole has been filled. Hurray!! But, it is short lived. Because, it’s sneaky as hell and one fine day we realize we are back to square one.
So is there a solution… well to quote “If there is a problem, then there is always a solution. You just need to explore more”. And when we start working on healing that hole ourselves, it works though it’s takes a lot of time and persistence. Some days I just want temporary solutions, make me feel good for today, I’ll see tomorrow when it comes. Alas, this just deepens the hole and I am more scared of being alone. Therefore, we need to work on ourselves. Of Course we can have a support system or help, but we need to work on it ourselves.
“The hole will fill with love, peace and harmony ONLY if you look inside.Who looks outside dreams. Who looks inside awakens”
There are somethings that will hurt again and again. We think that time has healed us, but if anyone (including us) scratches on those wounds, we are exposed again. The time lapse seems futile, we feel the pain and the hurt. And it makes us wonder, did we ever let go or was it just an illusion.
The thing about healing and letting go is, time does help in releasing all the pent up emotions. But, we need to wait for absolute repair, that is new skin to grow, that’s when we are absolutely healed.
All I have to say about this is, when a door closes, another door opens. But we are so busy looking at the closed door that we don’t even realize that a new door has opened. And if it’s taking some time, stop looking for things around. Just relish the present and take care of your wounds (physical or emotional). And, use this time to strengthen yourself, that if someone scratches on the same wound or you fall down again and hurt yourself at the same spot; you do not go through the same turmoil again. We all are much stronger than we think. Take a breath and refresh.
Remember “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is a choice”
“You broke my heart with your silence.
You couldn’t even give me the Gift of Closure.
I just wanted to say………….”
We have a Farewell party at school, Graduation ceremony in college, when we are moving to a new place we have a party to say goodbye or to mark the end of a certain journey and wish them the best for their new start. All in all, we get a closure and we are ready to enter a new phase in life.
But, closures are a luxury in relationships. Sometimes, before you can say sorry, the person is gone. Sometimes, you need to tell your loved ones “I love you” but you never get a chance. There are so many unsaid things that live forever in you and sometimes it hurts more than you ever imagined.
People get hurt in a relationship, they are so bitter or angry, they leave without a word. So much is unsaid and later in life you think you could have been more graceful about the parting. “What if”, “Only once..” are the words that haunt you for a longer time than you thought.
There are situations that turn ugly in life and the best option is to walk away without having to defend or explain yourself. The others may call you a coward or accuse you of many things, but when people refuse to listen or understand, it’s futile to try a closure at that time. When people are emotionally charged and refuse to see reason, walking away is the best closure and in hindsight they may see that it was the only option or you may still wish that you had done something more…
Closure is a tricky business, that’s why we have exit interviews, farewell speeches but in our personal life we need to be very careful. We are leaving an imprint. Your last words will be played again and again and again. You don’t want to blur out the best memories of your life because there was no closure.
“I don’t want us to be Unfinished Business”
Mind your wings