When you look at a person, any person, remember that everyone has a story. We all have gone through something that has changed us. Some whisper, some tell and some yell.
Did you know, we all have our storyteller mode on. What happens to us is merely a story we tell ourselves. Example: I miss the bus. Period. The storyteller mode goes on “Life’s a witch. I was just 10 seconds late and that too because that idiot bumped into me and my things scattered and ……” There goes our victim story. We are the victims and the circumstances are getting the worst out of us. Or, my favourite the villain story “He’s a witch. I was standing in the queue, he took too long to get in .He didn’t want me in…..”
So when we hear/see things, we predict and tell others and ourselves a story. We emote and form relationships on the basis of that. Thus, we need to state the facts followed by our conclusion and feelings. This keeps things in perspective. But we all are so overwhelmed by our emotions that we push our feelings, biases and conclusions.
So to make that story more real and helpful:
- Notice your role/problem in the situation.
- See the same situation from the other’s perspective and if you cannot then check with them, to see what you are missing.
- Avoid Victim and Villain stories.
- Do not keep your mind on automatic mode. Breath. Silence your mind.
- State the facts followed by your conclusion and feelings.
Decide what is the story you tell yourself and the others as this decides the course of your life.
Mind your wings